Wouldn't you love to be wise?  

Yes Please!

Gosh, if I was wise, I would never have any relationship issues, my family would be functional and normal, rather than normally dysfunctional, and of course, I'd be a gazillionaire too!

Well, I have to say I'm still working on wisdom... And I guess we all will until the day we die, if we are smart enough.

So, what can you do to help yourself with your mental side?

In addition to the 9 Health Basics, there are 
5 Attitude Adjustments that will help you to handle stressful situations more effectively.

1. Learn to Respect and Accept Differences
   
   While you are learning self-respect, learn not to overreact. Remember that it’s possible for all of us to have an ‘off’ day, whether through poor sleep, stressors from home impacting on the workplace, or simply a bad start to the day.
   
   In the workplace, and socially, you will interact with many different people and that means different personalities and behaviours that you don’t necessarily take to, nor agree with.
   
   We are all different, that’s what makes the world so much fun. You’ll have noticed that some people are extroverted and some introverted. For example: The Extrovert can be very excitable while the Introvert is much more subdued.
   
   Ever seen two complete opposites at a party? The extrovert gains more energy as the night goes on, while the introvert is drained as the night goes on. 
   
   The extrovert can’t understand why the introvert doesn’t join in and vice versa. These two very different approaches are not wrong, just different. 
   
   It doesn’t mean that the introvert doesn’t like people, or parties. He or she just doesn’t want to feel swamped in those situations.
   
   Within those two categories you will find those who are task focussed, and those who are people focussed. 
   
   Think of accountants versus a bubbly salesperson; or a strong and decisive leader in contrast to someone who prefers to be part of a team.
   
   This means that there are at least four different types of people who will do things in different ways, according to Dr William Marsten who created the DiSC profile on which this theory is based^*1.
   
   Just simple understanding and acceptance of differences can make a huge difference to reduce conflicts, and stop things from growing out of all proportion.
   
2. Set Boundaries
   
   Boundaries are how we let others know what we will accept and what we won’t. For example, you’re busy trying to get an ad written or doing the washing, or making an important phone call, and someone wants ‘just a minute of your time’. 
   
   Before you know it you’ve lost 35 minutes and the job still has to be done and it’s taking more time than you thought it would. 
   
   Plus, your thoughts are now focussed on feeling resentful towards the person who interrupted you.  What to do?
   
   State you cannot help them until you have finished and then, if you have time, give them a hand. If you don’t, make your apologies with sincerity and forget about it. 
   
   The more you set boundaries, the more your time management will fall into place easily and effectively.
   
   Boundaries also need to be clearly defined in your relationships with others. If someone wants you to do something, and you have the feeling that they are taking advantage of you, your boundaries are being pushed. Make this known by saying "You’re pushing my boundaries and I am not going to do this for you." Always listen to that inner voice, it’s usually right.
   
   If this is a work situation, take your concerns in writing, to the Sales Manager and the Principal, and offer solutions to the problem.  Sometimes, education is all that is needed. If you are having work problems that may constitute workplace harassment and/or bullying, don’t put up with it. 
   
   Discuss your concerns with a professional in your area, and find out what you can do to resolve the problem.
   
   Respect other’s Boundaries
   
   If you breach someone else’s boundaries, you are causing that person grief and stress. It won’t win you trust or respect, and will eventually backfire, because people will leave their job, workplace or relationship to get away from you.
   
   It’s very easy to break boundaries through tone of voice, sarcasm, or angry words and humiliation of others. These behaviours often get overlooked in an office, and yet they are the most common causes of poor performance, stress and high staff-turnover.
   
   A person who indulges in these behaviours may be carrying out workplace bullying and harassment, if they behave in this way on a regular basis. 
   
   If you are at home and your boundaries are being breached:
   lack of respect
   unhelpfulness
   nastiness
   verbal abuse
   violence
   
   then you need to firmly state what is permitted, and the consequences of breaching the rules.  You may also need counselling, stress management or training in parenting education skills, to help you get the most out of life.
   
3. Communication Skills
   Make an effort to learn communication skills and rapport skills^*2 to help improve your situation so that you do not resort to insults, sarcasm, pettiness, or aggressive behaviour.
   
   Monitor your tone of voice, the words you use, and how positive and upbeat you sound.  It will make a difference to how people respond to you.
   

4. Take a break!
   
   Physical Breaks
   
   Take a physical, time-out break. Those who schedule regular 3-day weekends and a couple of weeks off every 3 months of the year, will cope with life, work and others in much better humour. 
   
   It gives you a different perspective when you step out of your current environment. This allows you to relax, take stock and see the wood for the trees.
   
   Mental Breaks
   
   You can also take short breaks throughout the day, simply by reigning in your thoughts and focussing on the here and now. 
   
   In order to give your mind a rest, you need to lose the thousands of thoughts that are running around your mind and this technique will help you to clear your mind, and the best way to get the benefit of this exercise is to simply ‘trust and do’ it.
   
   If you are stressed, then practise taking this sort of mental break, as often as you need to during the day. If you lose your place, start at the very beginning again. If your thoughts interrupt you, start at the very beginning again.
   
   Sleep!
   
   It is well-known that sound sleep helps us to feel like we can achieve anything.  Ever had those worries in the wee hours of the night that seemed insurmountable, and then you get up, have a shower, deep breathe, have some breakfast and the world is looking better?
   
   Sleep can be interrupted by restless legs so do something about it with Night Time Leg Calm   
   
   You can also cut out alcohol, coffee, chocolate, cheese/dairy products and unhealthy snack foods to help you sleep better.
   
   Relaxation CDs and meditation will also assist, if you use the programmes regularly.

5.   Remember to have a sense of humour

The more that you can laugh, and see the funny side of things, crack a joke for a joke’s sake, or even make fun of yourself, the more you will send those positive chemicals called endorphins, into your bloodstream to give you great feelings. 

Those feelings will include the feeling of being able to cope with anything; of being up to a challenge; of life being easy; of feeling great within yourself. Go on, you’re a terrific person so bask in your own glory!

Naturally, as you take on these 9 Health Basics and 5 Attitudinal Adjustments, you will notice an increase in energy and a much more cheerful disposition. There’s nothing like feeling in control of yourself to put you in a good mood!

^*1 If you’ve been having trouble understanding others and why they do things, you might like to complete a DiSC Profile. It will give you insight into yourself and the reasons why you do things as well as improve your communication skills.

Give me a call to get started now, if you want to let go of those old patterns and move forward, on Mob: 0412 251 196.

Check out these great books at Amazon!